Is your partner considering becoming a stay-at-home parent?

How to help your partner decide if being a stay-at-home parent is the best decision for your family

If the thought of your partner leaving their job to become a stay-at-home parent is unsettling, you’re not alone. This is a big decision that impacts your whole family and should be a carefully thought-out joint decision.  

For some, the cost of childcare can offset your job salary enough that you could be working for little or no financial gain. The stress of a full-time job and the extra time spent dropping off and picking up kids from daycare might make becoming your partner becoming a stay-at-home parent, a more appealing option.

There’s a lot to consider, and there’s no standard answer that will work for everyone. Let’s unpack a few perspectives on your joint decision. 

How your partner becoming a stay-at-home parent could affect their career

Remind your partner that it could be harder to restart their career after a pause. If they do plan to go back to their career at some point in the future, they will need to find time to keep up with any required trainings, certifications, and licenses while keeping an eye on news and shifts in their industry.

There are also retirement savings to consider. Leaving their employer could set them back on their own contributions and any company match (if applicable), so they should try to budget for some extra savings if possible.

How your partner becoming a stay-at-home parent could impact your career and finances

If you and your partner agree that it is in your family’s best interest for them to become a stay-at-home parent, this means that your family will become more financially dependent on you.  

Consider the added stress this may have on your life. Do you feel comfortable and confident with the increased responsibility?  

It’s also important to make sure you re-examine your family’s budget and understand what it means to go from a two-income household to relying on just one. This may result in some lifestyle sacrifices, which may include the possibility of your working more overtime, not spending money on things you might ordinarily spend money on, or living in less expensive accommodation. Also, if you and your partner do not share all of your bank accounts, consider what this will look like once they stop working.  

Don’t forget to consider benefits and their impact on your new budget. For example, if everyone in your family is on health insurance through your partner’s employer, having to find private coverage will impact your budget. On the other hand, if your family’s coverage is under your employer, it could be a simpler shift to make.

The bottom line is that it has to be the right choice for you and your family.

Social and relationship considerations

Don’t be tempted to compare your family with others. Just because you see friends or family members thrive as stay-at-home parents doesn’t always mean it’s the right decision for you and your family. Also, remember that social media offers an incomplete or skewed view of other families’ lives, and perfect families just don’t exist.

No matter what you choose to do, you may have people around you who have different opinions on what’s right. Trust yourself, make your own choices, and try not to worry about what other people are saying or doing.

It’s important to keep in mind that your relationships and social life will evolve alongside your family life, so it could take time to find your stride as things continue to change around you.